When a Narcissist Says, "I'm Only Joking"

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A very common tactic of narcissists is to undermine others by disguising insults as jokes. They'll say something hurtful or demeaning, and when confronted, they'll dismiss it with, "I'm only joking." and then laugh after it.

On the surface, it may seem harmless, but beneath the surface lies a calculated attempt to manipulate you into doubting your feelings and perceptions.

This behaviour is a form of gaslighting. By framing their insults as jokes, narcissists shift the focus away from their hurtful behaviour and onto your reaction. If you express discomfort, they might accuse you of being too sensitive or lacking a sense of humour. This tactic not only invalidates your feelings but also creates confusion, making you question whether you're overreacting.


The truth is, a joke should be funny to both parties. If it leaves you feeling belittled, it's not humour-it's manipulation. Recognising this pattern is essential to protecting your emotional well-being.


When faced with such behaviour, trust your instincts. You have the right to set boundaries and call out disrespect, even if it's disguised as a joke. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, not on tactics designed to make you doubt yourself.




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