As The Ex Spouse of a Narcissist

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As the ex spouse of a narcissist, I had someone who talks at me, not with me. 

Someone who needs me but does not respect me. A child who demands attention and has tantrums if he does not get it.  A person who does not listen and does not feel what others feel, or understand how others are affected by his behaviors.

As the ex spouse of a narcissist, I must walk alone through my struggles, silently feeling my pain while no one sees it, no one sees him.

Nothing is mine or can be about me, he has to be the center of attention.


In public, he wears a mask that no one can see through, but at home, the mask comes off and I am subjected to emotional abuse.


As the ex spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problem—the one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. I am the one who needs help, not him. He is not the problem; I am. I am because I see him for who he is and I cannot pretend anymore, and that is a problem.


In social situations he would demean me and make fun of me, and then call me too sensitive and ask me why I couldn’t take a joke. 


He would justify his actions by saying he thought people would find it funny, even though he was insulting me. When I was firm about the fact that I would not tolerate this behavior, he went out of his way to ensure that I felt invisible. When I brought this up with him, he would tell me that I was boring.


As the ex spouse of a narcissist, I need to be strong and educate the people around me about narcissistic emotional abuse so that they might never fall prey and never feel my pain.


As spouses of narcissists, we cannot keep silent because the pain of being with a narcissist can be prevented.

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