Narcissists don't have anger management issues…
Narcissists don't have anger management issues, they manage their anger just fine when there are witnesses around.
Many people assume narcissists have anger management issues because of their explosive outbursts, insults, or intimidating behaviour behind closed doors. But the truth is, narcissists don't actually struggle to control their anger. They manage it perfectly well when it serves them to do SO.
If a narcissist genuinely couldn't control their rage, they would lash out indiscriminately - in front of family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and strangers. But notice how their temper magically disappears when there are witnesses who might hold them accountable or damage their reputation. In public, they can appear composed, charming, and perfectly reasonable.
This selective display of anger isn't accidental. It's a calculated tactic to control and intimidate the people closest to them while maintaining an untarnished image to the outside world.
This is why victims often struggle to prove emotional abuse.
Outsiders see the narcissist's controlled persona and assume the target is exaggerating or provoking them. But the reality is that the narcissist saves their worst behaviour for moments when no one else will see it.
Remember: if someone only loses control when you're alone, it's not about poor anger management. It's about power and manipulation. Recognising this pattern is the first step toward breaking free.
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