Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Use

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional manipulation. It’s not simply lying—it’s an orchestrated attempt to make you question your memory, your feelings, and even your sanity. When a narcissist gaslights you, they are effectively trying to rewrite reality to suit their agenda. Over time, this can chip away at your confidence until you feel like you don’t know what’s true anymore.

“I was just joking.”
This phrase is the narcissist’s favourite excuse after a cutting remark. They say something cruel or humiliating, then claim it was all in good fun. This tactic is designed to make you feel foolish for being hurt.

It’s not a harmless joke if it degrades you or crosses your boundaries. Repeated “jokes” at your expense are emotional abuse, not humour.

“You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase is a classic way to dismiss your feelings. The narcissist hurts you—then flips the script to make you feel defective for reacting. They want you to believe your sensitivity is the problem, not their behaviour.

When someone calls you too sensitive, it’s often because they don’t want to take accountability for crossing a boundary. They rely on this phrase to make you second-guess whether your reaction is appropriate.

“That never happened.”
This is one of the most brazen gaslighting tactics: complete denial. The narcissist will look you in the eye and insist that something you both experienced never occurred. This is designed to make you question your memory and start relying on their version of events instead of your own.

The more you argue, the more exhausted and confused you become—exactly what the narcissist wants.

“You’re overreacting.”

Here, they minimize the impact of their words or actions. They might have insulted you, broken a promise, or said something cruel—but if you show emotion, they’ll claim your response is exaggerated.

Over time, hearing “You’re overreacting” makes you afraid to express any emotion at all. You learn to silence yourself to avoid being labeled irrational.

“Everyone thinks you’re crazy.”

This is a particularly cruel form of gaslighting called triangulation. They claim that unnamed others—friends, family, colleagues—agree with their assessment of you. They do this to isolate you and make you feel outnumbered and ashamed.

By presenting the illusion of consensus, they make you question your worth and sanity.

“You made me do this.”
Blame shifting is one of the most toxic hallmarks of narcissistic behaviour. When they say, “You made me do this,” they refuse any responsibility for their own choices. Whether it’s yelling, cheating, lying, or abandoning you, it’s somehow your fault.

This phrase is designed to guilt you into staying silent and tolerating more mistreatment.

Gaslighting is not a misunderstanding—it’s a deliberate strategy. If you find yourself constantly feeling confused, apologising for things you didn’t do, or doubting your sanity, it’s time to step back. You deserve relationships where you are respected, heard, and valued, not manipulated into submission.