Domestic violence isn't just being hit, choked, slammed against a wall!

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It's also being degraded, humiliated, blamed, screamed at, lied to, cheated on and controlled.

This is narcissistic abuse!


Not sure who needs to hear this today, but abuse does not need to be bruises and broken bones. Just because you don't see the pain, doesn't mean it's not there.


Abusive behaviour can come from ANYONE, including those who are meant to love you it is often them that abuse. If you stay with an abuser, you are not weak. This is your nervous system feel like it's safer to stay than leave and sometimes, in that moment, it is. You are not weak, you are not stupid, you are not at fault. You are abused.


How you then behave is your nervous system trying to keep you safe so if you numb out - retreat, drink, eat, rage etc - these are all responses to your threat of danger and parts of you showing up to keep you as safe as possible.


Healing from abuse does not mean you forget, and it does not mean you won't feel certain emotions forever more, healing from abuse is about integrating what happened to you into your body so you can fully recognise both in your brain AND body that it was NOT your fault. Abuse is not on a spectrum of "mine was worse than yours" or "that wouldn't have affected me like that".


Let's honor how people feel because it's not a choice, it's a nervous system response and if we want to truly support those affected by abuse, we need to SEE THEM, HEAR THEM & VALIDATE their experiences because that is their truth.

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